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Ep 104: The Power of Family Secrets with Heawon Hake

Content warning: family abuse, sexual abuse, self-harm

This week, Christie, Sam, and Diana get together to reflect on the past year, and share which of the 104(!) podcast episodes they have recorded were some of their favorites. Then, Sam speaks with Heawon Hake about how family secrets can affect and damage a family. Heawon describes the difference between good and bad secrets, which types of secrets must be disclosed, and the types of ego defenses that result from a festering family secret.

Heawon Hake (she/her), LCSW-R, ASAC, is a Korean American psychotherapist with 34 years of experience across clinical, community and nonprofit work. Her newly published memoir, Daughter of Korean Freud, is a heartbreaking and raw account of how her work as a counselor resurfaced childhood wounds and allowed her to connect with freedom and healing in the process.

Connect with Heawon:

Mentioned in this episode:

  • Christie’s highlighted episodes:
    • Intergenerational Trauma & Internal Family Systems with Natalie Hung (Apple / Spotify)
    • Ancestral Healing Work with Chi Young Kim (Apple / Spotify)
    • Racialization and Reconnecting with Ancestors with Natalie Hung (Apple / Spotify)
  • Sam’s highlighted episode:
  • Diana’s highlighted episodes:


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Cover photo by Janice Chung
Theme music by Will Marshall